Why is my heart so Blind X?

Why do I always write in this when Im sad....

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 05:53:35 GMT

I'm sick of crying everyday.

I miss Chelsea way 2 much.

I miss Staphanie
I miss Kelsea
I miss Kayla
I miss Courtney

Why do things change. I hate change.

God please bring me faith.

Im sooo Confused

Tue, 21 Mar 2006 04:50:02 GMT

I haven't written in this thing in sooo long..... Its crazy reading this thing relizing some things never change and really how much I have grown up over the past year. I finally drive which I thought that would never happen, I have a job even though I hate it with a passion... and Ive been dating Nick for a over a year... It seems I always write in this thing when Im upset and I cant figure out why. I love him with all my heart but I dont know were everything is going, and im wondering if my heart is going into a different direction. Im soo confused and no one really can help me or will even try. My friends who I thought would be there arnt, o well. Im strong enough and I will figure things out. I just wonder wht everything I was soo use 2 i dont really want any more... things i were addicted to have changed.. ahhh life os sooo confusing.

Bored

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 21:18:15 GMT

I'm so bored, and can't wait to go to Maryland, (there I know people care). Ahhh I'm really sick of staying at home when I'm allowed to be out and doing something. I can't wait until I get my license so I can leave and not have to wait on people. I should get it soon but I dunno. This summer is starting to be really lame, or maybe it's just cause I'm unhappy. I've managed to keep myself happy for a very long time and always have bright smiles but I don't know now. And feeling lonely sucks especially the ones who supposibly love you are the ones that make you feel lonely. But I need to stop complaining, I'm getting closer with my mom which I never thought I would say. I just need to try to look at the better things in life and not focus on why I'm so lonely.

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 21:12:31 GMT

I haven't wrote in this in a really long time, so much has happened but none of its really important. I'm excited baceause I'm going to Mexico Beach in Florida next week, I'll have to try and stay away from temptations.:D Then the week after I'll be in MAryland! I'm so excited because I have so many awsome memories there. I can't wait to see everyone. I leave Alabama the 30th and sadly have to come back home the 5th, It's not long enough at allll.... but the lovely court and staying with which is awsome. Nick and I are still love each other but we're going through some rough edges right now. I think it will all work out though so I'm trying not to sweat it out to much. Well thats about it <3 Love everyone!

Blah.......

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 20:47:29 GMT

Amelie. Good Movie, see it! Everything seems different... and I don't exactly like it, I don't know what to do. I WORRY TO MUCH, but I'm excited my 2 bestest friends in the world are coming and that's all I need. I have a feeling something bad will happen, hopefully i'm wrong.

funny convo

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 23:46:09 GMT

PLOT:: "stephanie" [acting as if she was sum1 else] tricking nick into thinking that "she" was in love with him. to see if she could get sumthin good....
NOTE:: PLEASE KEEP IN MIND. NICK DOES NOT KNOW IT IS SHE.

steph: um. hi

NICK: hey

NICK: whos this

steph: its.. me.

steph: i cant tell you who i am.

NICK: that is so freakin gay

steph: ok. fine.

steph: ill tell you.

NICK: what the piss..........

NICK: lol

NICK: so yea

NICK: who is this

steph: i have to tell you something first..

NICK: ok

steph: i.

NICK: nice icon

steph: ive loved you for a really long time

steph: and its taken me this long to finally have it come out.

NICK: well i have a girlfriend sorry

steph: you .. do?

NICK: but go ahead

steph: well.

steph: cant u just cheat on her this time? just once...

NICK: no

NICK: theres no other girl i would rather be with than her..........so ....im sorry .......whoever you may be

steph: but ive loved you more. than u will ever know

steph: and i love you more than she loves you.

NICK: but i love her more than ill know that youll know

steph: but i know that my love is greater

NICK: well i dont even know who u are so............whatever

steph: but if u did know..

NICK: then it wouldnt matter

NICK: cuz there no one else i could even dream of being with other than her

steph: whos your girlfrisn

NICK: erica

steph: erica..?

NICK: yea

NICK: whos this

steph: erica who.

NICK: brainard

steph: oh.

NICK: thats really gay of u to be all like online and sayin crap like that

steph: well. i could call you..

NICK: then do it

steph: but then youll recognize my voice

NICK: but im still not gonna like u

NICK: thats the point

steph: but u wont be with her forever..

steph: </3

steph: I can be with you forever. we can grow old together/

steph: watch your favorit movies. listen to your favorite bands.

NICK: ur freakin retarded

steph: i can BE your favorite

NICK: whos this

NICK: your mom can be my favorite

steph: i.. i dont wanna say.

steph: u already did my mom.

steph: thats how i know you..

steph: can i ask u .. a personal question?

steph: so we can be closer.

steph: in the heart.

steph: and soul?

steph: so i can love you

steph: from the inside. <3

steph: and u looked really hott last night

steph: NICKY!!

steph: is this how your gonna treat me?!

steph: after u ask me out.

steph: we cant even speak to eachother?

steph: r u gonna talk?

NICK: whos this

steph: your lame.

steph: talk back

NICK: im talkin back

steph: k

steph: answer thee questions above.

NICK: ask me a personal question

steph: k

steph: where does "erica" live. so i can have a tlak with her

steph: and maybe

steph: we can fight over you

NICK: um no

steph: r u afaid ill beat her?

steph: shes prolly some weak little blonde headed girl

steph: with a big ass

NICK: what the fuck

NICK: who is this

steph: i love you <

steph: 3

NICK: ok if u love me then tell me who the person that loves me is

steph: but. if i tell you.

steph: i could never show my face again..EVER

NICK: well then how would we be together forever like u said

steph: when the time comes.

steph: u will know.

steph: your really boring

steph: i thought ud be more fun

steph: u should know who this is by now.

NICK: no

NICK: i dont

steph: hahaha

steph: wow.

NICK: so jus tell me

steph: your no fun.

steph: look at my profil

steph: e

steph: now do u know?

NICK: is this stephanie

steph: haha ya

steph: your gay

NICK: i thought it was

steph: i thought ud get into it better

steph: oh ya? how did u know?
NICK: well.......like idk.........jus cuz u would do somethin stupid like that

steph: haha what. go find ericas house

steph: and fight u

NICK: is it true though stephanie

NICK: that u love me

steph: hahahaha wtf nO!

NICK: way cuz i was.............feeling the same about u

steph: i mean. oh yes.

steph: hahahaha

steph: oh now u play along?

NICK: im not playing along

steph: haha

NICK: i seriously have liked u the whole time me and erica have been dating

steph: ya. ive liked erica the whole time too

steph: i want her back.

steph: u stole her from em.

steph: me*
NICK signed off at 5:26:13 PM.

aww. hes so sweet <33

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 06:36:06 GMT

Walmart = Tacobell
makes since to me
lol
<3 about damn time

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 05:38:22 GMT

Nothing new lately, had a lot of things on my mind and they will stay that way I guess....

Well since people like to post Anonymously.... have a crack at it, I encourage it. Leave a comment telling me exactly what you think of me, Anonymously so you can be truthful.... make is as mean or nice as you want ..... I'm bored and I like to here people's opinions! Remember all posts must be Anonymously!

Sorry I never get to update anymore.... and nothing interesting I can remember to say

I remember the night you looked into my eyes and told me I was beautiful in the way to say how much you loved me. I thought you were sincere and I thought I knew how much right then you cared for me. Funny how much one word can make you fall. That feeling is indescribable, I never felt any happier in my life, but that one feeling doesn't compare to the many caused by lies and betrail.

* Something old I found, dunno why I'm writing it now, has nothing to do with anything. I just liked it I guess!

Happy New Years...

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 06:46:01 GMT

Tonight was fun <3

Happy New Years

Bored

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 15:25:08 GMT

Im haven't posted in a while, cause I haven't really had time in computer class... I've made new friends which is cool but no wear near as good as friends as I had. I miss all of them soooo much. I'm trying really hard to go up there for Spring Break so every one pray, haa haa.. I had a lot of things to write about but I keep forgetting.... since I've been here 4 guys have asked me out but only 1 I might say yes 2, I'm still trying to get how different the people are here. My mind is going blank on what to write but please comment and tell me what your thinking this very moment. Tonight I'm going to the game and see some fun people, so until then Love ya...

Interesting...

Sun, 08 Aug 2004 06:40:10 GMT

Let's see.... I was talking to Courtney, and since I haven't seen her in a while we were talking about doing something. I wanted to meet her BF Max, so we decided to all meet up at MBP because we did.... it's been a long time since I've been there. It wasn't bad though cause there were a lot of people there we saw, so we were entertained. Before we left I Sammy came bye, and then Alex, and then Jock, after a while Sammy, Alex, Jock, Chris, and Josh were all at my house. Mostly I was hanging out with my luv sammy....( who locked me at out of my house)....! Most of the pictures are from MBP. When Court and I got home I relized I might not see her again so of course we had a looong hug, then she started crying and then I. After a while we elized we were being stupid so we were laughing and crying at the same time... good times. We were tired so we snuggled for a while, haa haa geeze this is sounding like the beginning of a porno! Yea I'm joking, but any ways today we went to a bridal shower which was a bunch of old women talking about getting old, and periods and shit so it wasn't all that fun, but I enjoyed Court's company.

Here are some pics, most of them have no point but I liked them so yea....

<img src="

Yessum, some Pics I took when the sexy sammy came over, I lovve him soo much, but the last pic is pimp..... kinda

I just thought it was pretty.......

These are some Hot biatches... damn...

This is Max and Courtney, they make a cute couple... I do say I approve jk.... a lot more then jock!

I bet she's wondering which one of those guys, the Pepsi bottle is going in there butt first... jk haa haa it likes thats what she is thinking...

That's me posing for the camrea... haa haa.. about to work my corner jk..

Isn't that sexy.. silly Kyle....

Damn... she looks so sexy here, makes u wanna tap that haa haa

I think that's Kayla.... haa it looks weird I loves it.... Picaso underwater

Yummy cookies Kirstie and I made form SCRATCH, with the little ingrediants my house has, I'm going hungry and starved damn, but those cookise were tizight and yummy!

Sat, 24 Jul 2004 02:44:34 GMT

&hearts; ...... yea I decided for it to be friends only.... leave a comment and i will put you as a friend, that is if your not already.... :D

Please answer.....

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 05:50:27 GMT

1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

2. How long have you known me?

3. When & how did we meet? If we haven't, do you want to?

4. What was your first impression?

5. If you could "hook me up" with ANYONE, who would it be?

6. What do you think my biggest weakness is?

7. What makes me happy?

8. What makes me sad?

9. What reminds you of me?

10. If you could give me anything what would it be?

11. When was the last time you saw me?

12. What have you always wanted to tell me?

13. Describe me in one word.

14. Are you going to put this on your page and see what I say about you?

..::Yea::..

Sat, 05 Jun 2004 02:53:40 GMT

This week was fun! I went to the mall lookin for a job, no luck :C! I bought pretty bras and underwear! Woop Woop!!! Thursday I went to Six Flags, that was so fricken awsome.... I have to go there with S.O.S someday. I went on alll most every fricken ride, kinda forced to go on the Superman ( Chris is gonna pay) grrrr, boyz can be mean! There were sooo many cicades there, and one almost flew in my mouth... ewey! It was really ewey when Ian ate one, he did get 20$ for it though! I would hate to be the next gurl to make out wit him.... :o! But in the end it was fun, I wanted to do it all again! I think every one got drenched from the water rides.... brrrr! Today I went to MBP, there was a good band and made a new friend, Yay I'm special... funny we had a connection! It was funny because right before I was gonna leave some 6th graders tryed to get my number... I'm just that Hottt....... big sike! Planning on taking Kerry to the mall and maybe the movies, any one wants to come just give me a shout....... well it's night night time for me.. don't let the big bugs bite!

Tue, 25 May 2004 20:39:47 GMT

Grrrr.... Some how I deleted all of my friends :c, Im slow no idea how I did that, If I forgot to add you comment to remind me and it will be done..... no idea how I did that..... I've been asking for a while how to cause I got my friends username switched and didn't know one of the girls and wanted to delete hers! My smart self did it and have no idea how and still dont know how to delete people, but thats just my luck...

If your going to MBP comment and let me know ♥

* Everyone go to MBP, because Downtown Singapore is Playing*

Haa funny.....

Tue, 25 May 2004 01:14:41 GMT

1# of Dorks I found, haa very funny results....

2# Highest

Nerd-O-Meter

Username/Nick

Nerd-O-Meter - 99%

This cool quiz by Confused_Pete - Taken 29921 Times.
</a>

Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

Haa haa, another funny one..... sorry Mike and Dan I couldnt resist, I still love you though......

3# highest well its me :D

Nerd-O-Meter

Username/Nick

Nerd-O-Meter - 87%

This Quiz by Confused_Pete - Taken 29923 Times.
</a>

New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology

I LOVE YOU !

Mon, 24 May 2004 23:07:04 GMT

Reply to this and paste it into your LJ...
What is the very first memory you have of me?

*Boys are sexee** I love bein a Loser**Job Hunton:c

My Life according to the internet.......*********

Mon, 24 May 2004 20:11:14 GMT

Funny, I think this thing has it wrong! They have the Sucess thing right... ;D

Church is not a Pick up joint.....

Mon, 24 May 2004 01:07:40 GMT

Lets see, This weekend I was kept busy, I love it when I actually have stuff to do! FunFUnFun

Friday: It was awsome, my sexy sammy friend had his Birthday at MBP, Im truly sorry if you are mad at me. I basically went to boring school like every other un lucky person, but after words it was ok. Mike came over, so did court and I talked to him for a while then Chris, Josh, and Jordan did, what fun... we got to fight with sticks! That was fun. Then we were greated with Matt and James, they stayed and after words we caught the icecream man. Yay.... Ian came down 2, lordy this is happening a lot lately- 2 many people. Courtneys, mommy picked us up and we went to the mall, that was boring but then we went to MBP... That was fun, I got to see all the cool people, mostly I hung out with court and sammy because he turned the Big 13, a oooo, I also saw the one and only Mike, his friend Matt, Robert, Ryan I think his name was that not sure, all very cool peoples. Mr. Wadell was there how cool. Haa haa, Holdon turned EMO.. I helped clean up so I get in free, woop woop- my butt still hurts from when I got hurt in the butt buy Ryan, what a meanis but I managed to get asistants, thanx, but it still was not cool. After that I went with court to her house, yay... then I feel a sleep leading 2 the next day.

Saturday: I went to thr Younkins with Court and went swimming, Yay.... That was fun, I haven't been in so long. They have the most awsomest house ever. I got a little sun, aaargh the only thing that sucks is now my boobs are 2 colors.. Haa haa There half white and the other half is way darker, very interesting. Im sure that information was not needed. Later I cleaned up a little and Sara came over to spend the night... How fun!

Sunday: Today I woke up, looking into Sara's pretty eyes, lol sike... We got ready, And I had to lay mulch... Man it was hot outside. I then went to sara's and from there we went to New life for there youth group service... not to shabby. Haa haa Sara likes to use Church as a hook up joint, with wessly and cody wanting to ask her out... way to pimp.... That's about it, really!

Well I wrote plenty, more then i prob ever have, but yea its use leess cause no one ever wants to read that much but Im bored as you can probably tell..... &hearts;

Sun, 23 May 2004 04:33:57 GMT

Haa haa, Walter Samuel Willet is the pimpest kid in the world! Sheesh how did you find this web site court.... such a cool kid- mine name came up as 87% haa Im such a loser, yep thats me, I wish I was a cool kid!

♥Happy Birthday Sammy♥

Im supertastic.... Ms. Shwartz gay word

Wed, 19 May 2004 23:18:36 GMT

Today wasnt to bad, When I got home I was all alone, then chris came by so I went to talk to him for a while, and then we were surprised by David and Jesse, woah didn't expect that to happen, Jordan also came with. We decided to play a nice game of B.S fun game, then I got hungry and went inside, so know I'm here. Yesterday sucked balls though because Mike and Chris stopped by but my mom was yelling at me to come inside. I was wondering what I did this time, she was yelling and asked what I was supposed to do 5 mins ago and I remembered she wanted me to get her a beer, it slipped my mind.. She was upset and asked why I always do stuff to her... she said, " Missy your this close to getting grounded." Wouldn't that be funny grounded over a beer.. She wouldn't let me go any where or talk on the phone, funny but I can today since she relized how stupid it was. I saw this in some other journals, so I guess you can call me a copier but the idea is mine, just thiught to add that since Im use to Leigh, saying it. Just fill in the blanks of what comes to mind.

One day I saw a shiny new _____ . It made me think of this special someone named ______ because _______. I wish I could see her/him because her/him is the ______ in the world. I remember this one time when ... _________. This is because Erica was with me when _______. And she is the ______ girl. If I could make a wish it would be _______...

Hee hee, make it an interesting story to entertain me, if you love me becuz if you didnt I dont see why you wold waste your time... thank anyways &hearts;

Tue, 18 May 2004 00:27:19 GMT

*I love You*

*See.... I figured it out all by my self, wow I'm a Big Kid now..... no thanx to Kirstie.... sike I love you 2*

Yaaayyy.....

Sun, 16 May 2004 23:05:15 GMT

Wow I've had a very busy weekend it's been fun, I only wish it could happen again.....

Let's see on

Friday: I had a very boring day of school, but then it was time to get ready formal.... My parents went and got Long Horn.... it was yummy, then it was time to go to formal...... yay...... When I first got there I didn't reconize any 1, everyone was soo pretty! It was the funnest I have had in a loooong time! I had fun shakin my booty with my gurly friends and dancin with Ian and his piptresses, lord know he had a ton of those... I also snuck a dance with tyron :D heehee... I think with Matt and James, I think, I dont really - Matt is weird with his foot fetish... Then after formal we went to the after party, that's what it would be..... That was funnn, of the shiz- house! One word no two Tampon Party, O it smelled, what ever happened to those tampons! The ones on the ceiling were priceless..... I think I might of got 3 hours of sleep, but I know some didn't gat any....

Saturday: I got woken up at 8:30, by some loud mouths, sike when I woke up a little and decided to go to Kate's soccer game, they tied I think 1-1- then I got home and fell right a sleep! When I woke up I streighten my room a little and twiddled around my room a little bit...... then on ....

Sunday: I woke up at 9;00 to early for me and finished cleanin, boy that was fun..... then Debbie came over, and We were greated by Mike, soon after James and Paul stopped by, boy that was fun and they called Chris so then he came over with Jordan.... the question had to be asked-

Who would you rather kiss Courtney G, or Jenny G, eeeewww there answer was Mike, ggooooddddd answer! So sexy!

after that I went inside and talk to Mike and Studied for Spanish.... yes I sad studying big thing for me woah!!!!!

I went to my mom's work and cracked up because of the posture with the little kiss peeing and it said If you tinkle while you sprinle please be neat and whipe the seat! Awww that never gets old........ I'm so proud of Debbie one question I thought of when it came to Ian, how does L.L lips don't get chapped when he licks them so much? They both have the big lips in common, hee well this entry was kinda long so I'll shut up, ta ta lovies..!

Thu, 13 May 2004 01:29:54 GMT

I heart Joyce-O!

I'm using the colors on her walls :D Yes I love her, you nasty nasty people, nnnoooo, in a non-homish way of Course! Except when her and Court are mean to mean, thats not nice, you make me tear.... snifff..... don't worry, I love

Court, Kirstie, Sammy, Sara, Mike, Andy, or who ever reads my LJ, cause you know I have plenty of love to go around! Sorry if I missed u! Highlight the big Gap! Yay

You know You Love My Chickens!

Thu, 13 May 2004 00:50:25 GMT

Haa haa, you know you love my chickens, awww so beatiful..... well you probably don't but if your cool you will, they need love cuz they arn't respected enough!!! Ahh fruit loops are so good!!! Chickens are my &heart; ! Today was a 2 hour early dismissal and every1 knows that, it was fun cause we didn't do any thing all day..... Mike, Chris, and Josh came over today!!!! They were funny, but useful they helped me pick out my formal dress.... they picked the black one becuz they said the other one looked like bedroom clothing b4 your gonna do the nasty. Haa Haa, Can't wait till Friday becuz I'm going to Alyssa's b4 formal and eat pizza, then formal starts, and a after party at Joyce's House, it's gonna be off hte hizzy! Lol, There are waaaaaaay to many B-days in May!

Happy Birthday Jen, Creighton, Mike, Sammy, Jason, and Megan!

Sorry if I forgot anyone, hehe next week I'm defintly going to MBP! &hearts; &hearts; (sorry the hearts are being gay and not working)&hearts;