Why is my heart so Blind X? [entries|friends|calendar] chicken_poo [ website | Do this to chickens to keep you entertained, it's the funnest site ever! ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Why do I always write in this when Im sad.... [30 Jun 2006|12:46am] [ mood | sad ] I'm sick of crying everyday. I miss Chelsea way 2 much. I miss Staphanie I miss Kelsea I miss Kayla I miss Courtney Why do things change. I hate change. God please bring me faith. thoughts

Im sooo Confused [21 Mar 2006|10:46pm] I haven't written in this thing in sooo long..... Its crazy reading this thing relizing some things never change and really how much I have grown up over the past year. I finally drive which I thought that would never happen, I have a job even though I hate it with a passion... and Ive been dating Nick for a over a year... It seems I always write in this thing when Im upset and I cant figure out why. I love him with all my heart but I dont know were everything is going, and im wondering if my heart is going into a different direction. Im soo confused and no one really can help me or will even try. My friends who I thought would be there arnt, o well. Im strong enough and I will figure things out. I just wonder wht everything I was soo use 2 i dont really want any more... things i were addicted to have changed.. ahhh life os sooo confusing. 2 thoughts

Bored [19 Jun 2005|04:09pm] [ mood | Lonely ] [ music | Spill Canvas ] I'm so bored, and can't wait to go to Maryland, (there I know people care). Ahhh I'm really sick of staying at home when I'm allowed to be out and doing something. I can't wait until I get my license so I can leave and not have to wait on people. I should get it soon but I dunno. This summer is starting to be really lame, or maybe it's just cause I'm unhappy. I've managed to keep myself happy for a very long time and always have bright smiles but I don't know now. And feeling lonely sucks especially the ones who supposibly love you are the ones that make you feel lonely. But I need to stop complaining, I'm getting closer with my mom which I never thought I would say. I just need to try to look at the better things in life and not focus on why I'm so lonely. 11 thoughts

[16 Jun 2005|04:11pm] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | Amber Pacific ] I haven't wrote in this in a really long time, so much has happened but none of its really important. I'm excited baceause I'm going to Mexico Beach in Florida next week, I'll have to try and stay away from temptations.:D Then the week after I'll be in MAryland! I'm so excited because I have so many awsome memories there. I can't wait to see everyone. I leave Alabama the 30th and sadly have to come back home the 5th, It's not long enough at allll.... but the lovely court and staying with which is awsome. Nick and I are still love each other but we're going through some rough edges right now. I think it will all work out though so I'm trying not to sweat it out to much. Well thats about it <3 Love everyone! 9 thoughts

Blah....... [18 Mar 2005|02:36pm] [ mood | cynical ] [ music | Fall Out Boy ] Amelie. Good Movie, see it! Everything seems different... and I don't exactly like it, I don't know what to do. I WORRY TO MUCH, but I'm excited my 2 bestest friends in the world are coming and that's all I need. I have a feeling something bad will happen, hopefully i'm wrong. 7 thoughts

funny convo [07 Mar 2005|05:34pm] [ mood | haa haa ] [ music | atticus: dragging the lake 3 ] PLOT:: "stephanie" [acting as if she was sum1 else] tricking nick into thinking that "she" was in love with him. to see if she could get sumthin good.... NOTE:: PLEASE KEEP IN MIND. NICK DOES NOT KNOW IT IS SHE.     steph: um. hi NICK: hey NICK: whos this steph: its.. me. steph: i cant tell you who i am. NICK: that is so freakin gay steph: ok. fine. steph: ill tell you. NICK: what the piss.......... NICK: lol NICK: so yea NICK: who is this steph: i have to tell you something first.. NICK: ok steph: i. steph: i. NICK: nice icon steph: ive loved you for a really long time steph: and its taken me this long to finally have it come out. NICK: well i have a girlfriend sorry steph: you .. do? NICK: but go ahead steph: well. steph: cant u just cheat on her this time? just once... NICK: no NICK: theres no other girl i would rather be with than her..........so ....im sorry .......whoever you may be steph: but ive loved you more. than u will ever know steph: and i love you more than she loves you. NICK: but i love her more than ill know that youll know steph: but i know that my love is greater NICK: well i dont even know who u are so............whatever steph: but if u did know.. NICK: then it wouldnt matter NICK: cuz there no one else i could even dream of being with other than her steph: whos your girlfrisn NICK: erica steph: erica..? NICK: yea NICK: whos this steph: erica who. NICK: brainard steph: oh. NICK: thats really gay of u to be all like online and sayin crap like that steph: well. i could call you.. NICK: then do it steph: but then youll recognize my voice NICK: but im still not gonna like u NICK: thats the point steph: but u wont be with her forever.. steph: </3 steph: I can be with you forever. we can grow old together/ steph: watch your favorit movies. listen to your favorite bands. NICK: ur freakin retarded steph: i can BE your favorite NICK: whos this NICK: your mom can be my favorite steph: i.. i dont wanna say. steph: u already did my mom. steph: thats how i know you.. steph: can i ask u .. a personal question? steph: so we can be closer. steph: in the heart. steph: and soul? steph: so i can love you steph: from the inside. <3 steph: and u looked really hott last night steph: NICKY!! steph: is this how your gonna treat me?! steph: after u ask me out. steph: we cant even speak to eachother? steph: r u gonna talk? NICK: whos this steph: your lame. steph: talk back NICK: im talkin back steph: k steph: answer thee questions above. NICK: ask me a personal question steph: k steph: where does "erica" live. so i can have a tlak with her steph: and maybe steph: we can fight over you NICK: um no steph: r u afaid ill beat her? steph: shes prolly some weak little blonde headed girl steph: with a big ass NICK: what the fuck NICK: who is this steph: i love you < steph: 3 NICK: ok if u love me then tell me who the person that loves me is steph: but. if i tell you. steph: i could never show my face again..EVER NICK: well then how would we be together forever like u said steph: when the time comes. steph: u will know. steph: your really boring steph: i thought ud be more fun steph: u should know who this is by now. NICK: no NICK: i dont steph: hahaha steph: wow. NICK: so jus tell me steph: your no fun. steph: look at my profil steph: e steph: now do u know? NICK: is this stephanie steph: haha ya steph: your gay NICK: i thought it was steph: i thought ud get into it better steph: oh ya? how did u know? NICK: well.......like idk.........jus cuz u would do somethin stupid like that steph: haha what. go find ericas house steph: and fight u NICK: is it true though stephanie NICK: that u love me steph: hahahaha wtf nO! NICK: way cuz i was.............feeling the same about u steph: i mean. oh yes. steph: hahahaha steph: oh now u play along? NICK: im not playing along steph: haha NICK: i seriously have liked u the whole time me and erica have been dating steph: ya. ive liked erica the whole time too steph: i want her back. steph: u stole her from em. steph: me* NICK signed off at 5:26:13 PM. aww. hes so sweet <33 3 thoughts

[20 Feb 2005|12:34am] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | Masic ] Walmart = Tacobell makes since to me lol <3 about damn time 2 thoughts

[21 Jan 2005|11:23pm] [ mood | giddy ] [ music | Cake ] Nothing new lately, had a lot of things on my mind and they will stay that way I guess.... Well since people like to post Anonymously....  have a crack at it, I encourage it. Leave a comment telling me exactly what you think of me, Anonymously so you can be truthful.... make is as mean or nice as you want ..... I'm bored and I like to here people's opinions! Remember all posts must be Anonymously! Sorry I never get to update anymore.... and nothing interesting I can remember to say I remember the night you looked into my eyes and told me I was beautiful in the way to say how much you loved me. I thought you were sincere and I thought I knew how much right then you cared for me. Funny how much one word can make you fall. That feeling is indescribable, I never felt any happier in my life, but that one feeling doesn't compare to the many caused by lies and betrail. * Something old I found, dunno why I'm writing it now, has nothing to do with anything. I just liked it I guess! <3   18 thoughts

Happy New Years... [01 Jan 2005|12:41am] [ mood | awsomeness ] [ music | Eminem ] Tonight was fun <3 Happy New Years 14 thoughts

Bored [12 Nov 2004|09:14am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | Taking Back Sunday ] Im haven't posted in a while, cause I haven't really had time in computer class... I've made new friends which is cool but no wear near as good as friends as I had. I miss all of them soooo much. I'm trying really hard to go up there for Spring Break so every one pray, haa haa.. I had a lot of things to write about but I keep forgetting.... since I've been here 4 guys have asked me out but only 1 I might say yes 2, I'm still trying to get how different the people are here. My mind is going blank on what to write but please comment and tell me what your thinking this very moment. Tonight I'm going to the game and see some fun people, so until then Love ya... 34 thoughts

Interesting... [08 Aug 2004|02:22am] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Hawthorne Heights : Ohio is for lovers ] Let's see.... I was talking to Courtney, and since I haven't seen her in a while we were talking about doing something. I wanted to meet her BF Max, so we decided to all meet up at MBP because we did.... it's been a long time since I've been there. It wasn't bad though cause there were a lot of people there we saw, so we were entertained. Before we left I Sammy came bye, and then Alex, and then Jock, after a while Sammy, Alex, Jock, Chris, and Josh were all at my house. Mostly I was hanging out with my luv sammy....( who locked me at out of my house)....! Most of the pictures are from MBP. When Court and I got home I relized I might not see her again so of course we had a looong hug, then she started crying and then I. After a while we elized we were being stupid so we were laughing and crying at the same time... good times. We were tired so we snuggled for a while, haa haa geeze this is sounding like the beginning of a porno! Yea I'm joking, but any ways today we went to a bridal shower which was a bunch of old women talking about getting old, and periods and shit so it wasn't all that fun, but I enjoyed Court's company. Here are some pics, most of them have no point but I liked them so yea.... (  The Best Pictures Ever  ) 7 thoughts

[23 Jul 2004|10:37pm] [ mood | creative ] ♥ ...... yea I decided for it to be friends only.... leave a comment and i will put you as a friend, that is if your not already.... :D 5 thoughts

Please answer..... [06 Jun 2004|01:49am] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Blink ] 1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. 2. How long have you known me? 3. When & how did we meet? If we haven't, do you want to? 4. What was your first impression? 5. If you could "hook me up" with ANYONE, who would it be? 6. What do you think my biggest weakness is? 7. What makes me happy? 8. What makes me sad? 9. What reminds you of me? 10. If you could give me anything what would it be? 11. When was the last time you saw me? 12. What have you always wanted to tell me? 13. Describe me in one word. 14. Are you going to put this on your page and see what I say about you? 10 thoughts

..::Yea::.. [04 Jun 2004|10:38pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | Co + Ca ] This week was fun! I went to the mall lookin for a job, no luck :C! I bought pretty bras and underwear! Woop Woop!!! Thursday I went to Six Flags, that was so fricken awsome.... I have to go there with S.O.S someday. I went on alll most every fricken ride, kinda forced to go on the Superman ( Chris is gonna pay) grrrr, boyz can be mean! There were sooo many cicades there, and one almost flew in my mouth... ewey! It was really ewey when Ian ate one, he did get 20$ for it though! I would hate to be the next gurl to make out wit him.... :o! But in the end it was fun, I wanted to do it all again!  I think every one got drenched from the water rides.... brrrr! Today I went to MBP, there was a good band and made a new friend, Yay I'm special... funny we had a connection! It was funny because right before I was gonna leave some 6th graders tryed to get my number... I'm just that Hottt....... big sike! Planning on taking Kerry to the mall and maybe the movies, any one wants to come just give me a shout....... well it's night night time for me.. don't let the big bugs bite! 1 thoughts

[25 May 2004|04:33pm] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | The buzzing in my ears ] Grrrr.... Some how I deleted all of my friends :c, Im slow no idea how I did that, If I forgot to add you comment to remind me and it will be done..... no idea how I did that..... I've been asking for a while how to cause I got my friends username switched and didn't know one of the girls and wanted to delete hers! My smart self did it and have no idea how and still dont know how to delete people, but thats just my luck... If your going to MBP comment and let me know ♥ * Everyone go to MBP, because Downtown Singapore is Playing* 13 thoughts

Haa funny..... [24 May 2004|09:08pm] [ mood | exanimate ] [ music | Fall Out Boy ] 1# of Dorks I found, haa very funny results.... Nerd-O-Meter Username/Nick Nerd-O-Meter - 100% This QuickKwiz by Confused_Pete - Taken 29920 Times. </a> New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz 2# Highest Nerd-O-Meter Username/Nick Nerd-O-Meter - 99% This cool quiz by Confused_Pete - Taken 29921 Times. </a> Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz Haa haa, another funny one..... sorry Mike and Dan I couldnt resist, I still love you though...... 3# highest well its me :D Nerd-O-Meter Username/Nick Nerd-O-Meter - 87% This Quiz by Confused_Pete - Taken 29923 Times. </a> New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology 1 thoughts

I LOVE YOU ! [24 May 2004|07:05pm] Reply to this and paste it into your LJ... What is the very first memory you have of me? *Boys are sexee** I love bein a Loser**Job Hunton:c 6 thoughts

My Life according to the internet.......********* [24 May 2004|04:08pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Moneen ] How do you measure up? Username: Time you were born: City you were born in: Intelligence - 81% Looks - 95% Success - 40% Net Worth $18,124,943.60 This Quiz by waywardpixie - Taken 35238 Times. </a> New! Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz Funny, I think this thing has it wrong! They have the Sucess thing right... ;D thoughts

Church is not a Pick up joint..... [23 May 2004|09:01pm] [ mood | busy ] [ music | Didn't I didn't I see you cryin..... ] Lets see, This weekend I was kept busy, I love it when I actually have stuff to do! FunFUnFun Friday: It was awsome, my sexy sammy friend had his Birthday at MBP, Im truly sorry if you are mad at me. I basically went to boring school like every other un lucky person, but after words it was ok. Mike came over, so did court and I talked to him for a while then Chris, Josh, and Jordan did, what fun... we got to fight with sticks! That was fun. Then we were greated with Matt and James, they stayed and after words we caught the icecream man. Yay.... Ian came down 2, lordy this is happening a lot lately- 2 many people. Courtneys, mommy picked us up and we went to the mall, that was boring but then we went to MBP... That was fun, I got to see all the cool people, mostly I hung out with court and sammy because he turned the Big 13, a oooo, I also saw the one and only Mike, his friend Matt, Robert, Ryan I think his name was that not sure, all very cool peoples. Mr. Wadell was there how cool. Haa haa, Holdon turned EMO.. I helped clean up so I get in free, woop woop- my butt still hurts from when I got hurt in the butt buy Ryan, what a meanis but I managed to get asistants, thanx, but it still was not cool. After that I went with court to her house, yay... then I feel a sleep leading 2 the next day. Saturday: I went to thr Younkins with Court and went swimming, Yay.... That was fun, I haven't been in so long. They have the most awsomest house ever. I got a little sun, aaargh the only thing that sucks is now my boobs are 2 colors.. Haa haa There half white and the other half is way darker, very interesting. Im sure that information was not needed. Later I cleaned up a little and Sara came over to spend the night... How fun! Sunday: Today I woke up, looking into Sara's pretty eyes, lol sike... We got ready, And I had to lay mulch... Man it was hot outside. I then went to sara's and from there we went to New life for there youth group service... not to shabby. Haa haa Sara likes to use Church as a hook up joint, with wessly and cody wanting to ask her out... way to pimp.... That's about it, really! Well I wrote plenty, more then i prob ever have, but yea its use leess cause no one ever wants to read that much but Im bored as you can probably tell..... ♥ thoughts

[23 May 2004|12:32am] [ mood | intimidated ] [ music | shhhh every 1 is sleeping ] Nerd-O-Meter Username/Nick Nerd-O-Meter - 1% This cool quiz by Confused_Pete - Taken 29133 Times. </a> New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology and Horoscopes Haa haa, Walter Samuel Willet is the pimpest kid in the world! Sheesh how did you find this web site court.... such a cool kid- mine name came up as 87% haa Im such a loser, yep thats me, I wish I was a cool kid! ♥Happy Birthday Sammy♥ 3 thoughts

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]